REVIEWS | The Chopping Block

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Movie reviews

Dive into my horror movie reviews, where every flick gets put on The Chopping Block to see if it can survive. From the newest releases to the timeless classics, I cover it all. I've cooked up a special scoring system to give every movie a fair shot at shining (or flopping).

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I Trapped The Devil (2019)

Rating: 2/5 • Holiday horror meets creeping dread in "I Trapped the Devil"—it’s unnerving, sure, but it doesn’t quite unwrap the payoff.

Dec 17, 20244 min read

It's A Wonderful Knife (2023)

Rating: 2/5 • A slasher with holiday spirit but a little too much eggnog in its execution.

Dec 13, 20243 min read

Black Christmas (1974)

Rating: 3/5 • A chilling classic that haunts you with questions—but leaves you wanting answers.

Dec 9, 20243 min read

Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)

Rating: 4/5 • Santa’s not coming to town—he’s tearing it apart in this neon-drenched holiday bloodbath.

Dec 4, 20243 min read

Smile 2 (2024)

Rating: 4.5/5 • "Smile 2" dives into fame and fear with a grin that’s hard to shake.

Dec 1, 20243 min read

The Substance (2024)

Rating: 4/5 • "The Substance" gives body horror a new face—literally. Demi Moore slays in this sharp, disturbing take on perfection.

Sep 24, 20244 min read

Alien: Romulus (2024)

Rating: 4.5/5 • "Alien: Romulus" takes you back to the franchise's terrifying roots—claustrophobic, intense, and oh-so-satisfying.

Sep 24, 20244 min read

Oddity (2024)

Rating: 4/5 • True to its name, "Oddity" is a strange but unexpectedly awesome horror gem that’s anything but ordinary.

Aug 26, 20244 min read

Cam (2018)

Rating: 4.5/5 • "Cam" shows us what happens when your online persona goes rogue.

Aug 6, 20244 min read

Mara (2018)

Rating: 2.5/5 • "Mara" nails sleep paralysis horror but hits snooze on originality.

Aug 1, 20244 min read

Donnie Darko (2001)

Rating: 5/5 • "Donnie Darko": Come for the 1980s nostalgia, stay for the creepy rabbit and existential crisis.

Jul 29, 20243 min read

Event Horizon (1997)

Rating: 4.5/5 • "Event Horizon" - Because nothing says "cult classic" like a trip to hell and back.

Jul 26, 20243 min read

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